OK, really rotten morning. One of those days when Josh wouldn't get up from the floor, peed on the floor, then took forever on the pot. By the time he was dressed for school, there was no time for breakfast. So, he took it with to school and, as fate would have it, had a pretty good day at school. They did not have swimming but had art - he's got something about the art teacher and he hit her again - could be the smells in the room, the fine motor aspect of it, don't know if she moves in close, just don't know why. They did a foot fish - don't know if this is really how they did it but Josh said he put his foot on the paper and someone drew around his foot, then he put eyes and "paper stuff" on the fish. Don't know if the hit may have happened when drawing around the foot or what - didn't get the whole story. On the other hand, when he is working with almost anything else, he participates, gets praise for his work, and, according to the daily sheet, had a much, much better day than yesterday, and "it was a pleasure working with Josh today." Apparently there was something that happened getting on the bus after school, though - they brought him out in the wheelchair and he slid out of it, getting his rear end stuck in the chair. After they got him out of the chair, he had one of his "meltdowns," then got on the bus - all of it about 10 minutes. Getting off, he was hesitant and it took about 6 minutes to get him off - I finally got up on the bus, took his hand and said, "let's go." He got off. He was really tired, I could tell.
But, we sat down on the couch and took about 15 minutes or so to just talk. Josh was resting his head on me and we talked about cooperating, what that means, how we all need to cooperate with each other, etc. I told him his behavior the last few days is not cooperating and he needs to change that. He said that sometimes when he just sits down or lays down on the floor he sees the blue light or his eyes get wobbly. So we talked about how he really needs to use his words to tell people - if he wants people to cooperate with him and not get frustrated or angry, then he needs to tell them what is going on in his head and then maybe they can help him instead of getting angry or whatever. I like sitting and just talking with him - maybe he doesn't understand all that we talk about but, eventually, maybe he'll get it.
As I was making dinner, he dumped the entire wastebasket of his newspapers - huge pile right by the couch. He was just going to let it sit but, nope, I said he had to pick it all up (roast beef got a little overcooked but oh well). I held the bag and we sort of made a game out of it - I see a blue and white paper, I see a paper with a letter X, etc. - it was all picked up in about 5 minutes. He ate a huge dinner and we talked the whole time. I have to say, sometimes my brain starts hurting figuring out his words and the context he speaks in, but it is nice to have a conversation.
Which leads me to the show Parenthood. I happened to catch it tonight. There's a kid on the show who is supposed to have autism. His dad was frustrated and hurt when the kid didn't want to talk to him, have a simple conversation, etc. All I could think of is that I know so many people, sometimes myself included, who have the same frustrations. It's hard raising a kid with needs, it's sometimes lonely, it's exhausting on a lot of different levels. Sometimes you start the day behind the eight ball because your kid behaves in such a way that you just head off to work exhausted. But then there are the times that your kid accomplishes something that you've never thought he could, or he does engage in a conversation that makes a lot of sense, or he comes up with an idea that surprises the heck out of you - and it's all worth it. My career is dealing with people who have been convicted and are imprisoned or serving time of some sort - it's the rare occasion that we get a win, but when we do, we all savor the moment and it makes the career worth it - we've accomplished something, we've upheld the constitution or someone's rights in some way. It's the same in my life with Josh - I savor those moments when there's an accomplishment or a surprise, or a hug from out of nowhere.
Tomorrow, Day 122.
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